jesus, the editing, direction and writing for the This American Life TV show is absolutely near-perfect. I feel like I'm being hammered by the best possible manifestation of human intellect every time I see it. I want to be best friends with Ira Glass. I think he'd make me a smarter, better person. Plus, he's mad hot.

how bad do I want this? So bad. Not quite $1000 bad, but hey. I'm being consumed with greed because it's my birthday and it's around this time of year I can guilt my dad into buying me anything. he probably will not buy me this table, but I'd feel bad asking anyway.

More on mushrooms:

I saw a Pentagon representative, Geoff Morrel (Morell?) ((good mushroom, that morel)) on C-Span today and he was trying to convince everybody that they needed to get some bills passed that gave the army/navy more money unconditionally. None of the reporters were asking smart questions, like, WTF DO U MEAN UNCONDITIONALLY? they were making stupid metaphors regarding kabuki to sound smart. wutever. Anyway Geoff Morell, who looks super hot in a really evil movie star kind of way, used this wonderful terminology with perfect word choice to elaborate on why more money should go to the contractors and civilians in iraq:

"We need to capitalize on the progress we've made in Iraq."

No, thank you, Geoff.

An isometric cube clock? too clever by half.

Being a senior rocks. I signed up for all the classes I wanted in a grand total of 2 minutes. Easy-peasy.

i can't believe nobody wants to get presents from me

today i ate ghanaian smashed nut soup or something and it was seriously the best soup in the entire world. i was so apprehensive, maybe I'm racist against african soups.

having a band really like the crowd because we're going insane gives me a great sense of pride.

architecture in helsinki was awesome

I got fingerprinted to become a citizen today. I had a tiny itty bitty little panicked sense of horror when they were fingerprinting me, like, "Oh my god. They're putting a Lojack on me. They now know everything I'm doing. They can know everything I've touched. I saw my aspirations towards a life of crime fading before my very eyes. Then I figured worst case I could have my fingerprints sanded off, but still.

By some weird (subconscious?) coincidence I brought American Splendor to read while I was waiting. One where Harvey Pekar interviews a black man about Nam. Incidentally, all the workers and bureaucratic slaves there were FOB old Vietnamese men. Hmm.

Also of note: the TVs in the American citizenship fingerprinting center were playing Roseanne. Haha.

my first naturalization interview is in a week!

ahhh i'm storming america!

I am going through some really ridiculous papers through my freshman year of high school. In some ways, I was a way better artist then than now because I drew everything. Like, CD cases and my skittles on the table and people skating in magazines. Now I just doodle noses in the margins of my notes in class. I'm kind of jealous of old me. Sad.

Anyway, there's this thing here where I recount pacing in front of Hot Topic in the mall. oh my god how 13 years old is that? Going to the mall at 9 AM in the morning to spend my day there and not having anything open, and pacing in front of the Hot Topic, yelling at the manager to open the big gothic wrought iron doors so I can steal rude buttons? Jesus christ.

Other things I found: ( i'm 14 years old. )

All of my classes are going to be really pretty easy but also completely mind-numbing and boring as fuck, so I am afraid I'm not going to try very hard. It's only the 2nd week and I'm already like, fuck this shit, and I'm literally reading magazines in class and all. Oh my god Lit is such a horrible major.

my priorities in life are hopelessly skewed. my goal for the next month is not to study to get a perfect score on the GREs but instead to lose enough weight so I can wear cutoff belly shirts again. Euch

I miss when life was one extra long Jackass episode. No matter how ambitious I am and how much I want to be a super duper successful bitch with a million dollars, part of me wants to live on people's couches in Spain and be a bratty little punk and get drunk every other night and make love until I can't move and I have to drink lemonade and order in Chinese.

i just had my last day of school today and now I'm WTFOMG I have nothing to do. I learned 90 GRE words, it was pretty easy. I hope I haven't forgotten them by tomorrow.

last night i was the happiest i'd ever been in the longest time b/c I had a dream I saved the world and narrowly escaped death and got a magic axe, so naturally if that happened to you you'd be sooooo fucking happy and then I woke up and was so bummed.

oh my god what the fuck is happening right now? in one day, my ex invited me to some show via facebook and the kid who threw me in a dumpster and called me an ugly loner repeatedly during high school tried to facebook friend me. i think it's because my new profile pic is so hot bitches just can't resist.

there is something simply brilliant about being totally lazy and absolutely not giving a shit.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

let me tell you if I don't get Honors in the major or college honors I'm going to fucking shoot myself. I WANT HONORS


I have fun.

Oh my god I'm graduating in less than a year with a completely and utterly bullshit major and I have no idea what to do with my life

Here are the rules:
• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1 ) I hate being alone more than anything in the whole world. When I was forced to share a room with somebody, it was the happiest year of my life.

2 ) Watching violence in scary movies or action movies makes me bawl my eyes out. Even if I know it's not real and I've seen how it was made it makes me sick. I have a tendency to over-empathize.

3 ) Being in love is alternately the most euphoric and saddest experience experience for me ever so I go between loathing and loving it. It's essentially emotional addiction.

4 ) I look in wedding magazines all the time just for the cakes. It's my dream to go to a really fancy wedding and eat a lot of a very expensive cake.

5 ) When I am depressed my favorite thing to do is lie under the stars and think about what aliens look like.

6 ) Despite everything that is so awful about it, sometimes I really, really, really love the 'burbs. They're home, dude. I love bourgeois pool parties and playing tennis.

7) One of my favorite daydreams is the expressions people will get on their faces when they find out that I am dead.

8) I feel like as if I see 11:11 more than coincidentally plausible, cos I catch it entirely by accident almost every day. So every time I see 11:11 I make the same wish. But it's a secret!

HI CARAMBA

i didnt go to class so wtf stfu imma sleep and then finish writing the biggest paper of my life w/e w/e

can people pls. be less nasty to illegal immigrants k thx?

i'm almost glad i'm not a soc major because I'd be continuously depressed at how fucked up the world is.

dan is pretty much the only good person left.